First thing was to sit him on our porch and stick a joint of dry, brown Mexican weed in his mouth. We even put multiple seeds in it, so when they pop, the embers burn holes in his nightgown. Then we put our special Bloody Mary mix in his hand. We use three fifth's vodka, two fifth's ice and two tablespoons of tomato juice. Once his eyes were rolling, it was time to take him to dinner. This week's choice was Kimchi Time. Quite a hokey name, but upon reconsideration, a perfectly cutesy fit for a Korean restaurant.
Our old man wrestled with the seat belt the entire drive to the restaurant. It was sort of like a before dinner show. Little did he know, we closed the door on the head of the seat belt, so he never had a chance. He is so much fun. Once we arrived at the restaurant, we shuffled him in and ordered him a Soju. Soju isn't quite as strong as vodka, but it got the old man Popeyed. He spent most the time scanning the crowd with one eye closed like he was looking for someone he recognized, while we enjoyed pork belly kimchi stir fry and beef short rib soup with mandu dumplings and rice cakes. Kimchi Time is the only restaurant in town that serves the pork belly kimchi stir fry. They also use a purple house rice blend, which further sets it apart from other Korean restaurants in town.
We let the old man play with some tofu. Once dinner was finished, we took the tofu away from Pops and let him wander around the parking lot like a three hundred pound baby. Then we put him in the car and shut the door on the seat belt again. We needed a few more good laughs to help us digest our food. So we took the long way back to the old folks home to maximize his seat belt frustration. Then we left him at the lobby roundabout and watched the nurses escort him back in through our rear view mirror.
We love that old fart, but only for a few hours a month and after his afternoon Alzheimer's twilight fits.
karat
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